Monday, January 21, 2008

Bears, Bars, Babies, and a Love Life

Apparently my social life was of more interest to some stalkers... er... I mean gentle readers... than a box of chocolates (thank you for all the emails of encouragement, whining, criticism, love and that one about the laundry detergent and the cat...).

What I found of particular interest is that apparently, I've been missing a lot of advances. Here I am thinking, "oh hey! What a great guy!" and what they're thinking is, "Oh heyyyyyy baby!"

The word oblivious comes to mind, as demonstrated by an excerpt from the following email.

Him: "Are you out of your mind? I've hit on your for weeks and all you ever do is kiss me on the cheek and go afk."

So here was my thought during those dozen or so conversations we had over the last few weeks: What a nice guy! Wonder who he is in RL?

The concept of virtual dating was lost on me sometime around 1989 (yes, I actually wore those jeans and even a similar top in the pic above). I had learned the art of virtual flirting through a lovely little BBS and a guy named BearTender at a virtual bar, where he virtually bartended. There were a lot of us back then - all kids, all hanging out in adult 18+ virtual communities, all with adult names (or at least, college like ones). No one had any idea I wasn't even old enough to drive a car let alone drink. And of course, a lot of adult content was shared between the members. We discovered each other accidentally - much like when cops walk into a conference and all sit in one corner, not knowing their table mates are cops too.

Thing was, BearTender was just a flirt, no more. I learned very early that flirting does not necessarily mean attraction. The more time I spent in VW, the more folks I met who were flirts. And the more I came to consider them more "friendly" than "flirtatious".

I quickly learned that just because you were being friendly did not mean you were interested. And just because you were interested did not mean you wanted to pursue anything. And just because you wanted to pursue something did not mean that you were interested in RL which, frankly, was the only thing of interest to me because I like(ed) to keep it real.

Which of course brings me to this question: if I were invited out on a virtual date today, 18 years after my patterns had been set, and I was interested, do I accept?

PS: Wrath, darling, you know I am a jeans and a T kind of girl. Love me for me or don't love me at all. ;)


Flux said...

Only accept if he is willing to take it to the next level (RL) if things work out. If he's not willing, he is either just in SL for the RP or he is hiding something.

Nexeus Fatale said...

So you have to think of it this way Ribblet - one has to compensate for the lack of x in virtual means. Flirting is usually that way in. The thought is that if I'm being friend, and nice and not blunt I am more attractable, you would want to spend more time with me, there for date me.

Wrath Paine said...

Hey! What the..? I never said there was anything wrong with a girl in jeans and a tee! Go casual or go home, I always say. No wait, I've never actually said that, but I mean it. Sort of, I think.

And I definitely share the dating in RL preference over virtual world dating, I know that much.